the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think a kid would responsible me up
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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