I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
