I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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