Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
God, I missed his penis.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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