I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
