You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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