I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
