3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
