office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize