jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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