i was born a porn star she said
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
