hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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