It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
