I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
