WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My liver is preforming stress tests.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
