how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
