im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
