david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
