she takes plan B like it's going out of style
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
