the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
