So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
