Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
