you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You took a bar mat shot.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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