Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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