the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
