oh god the rape fog is back!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
