My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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