yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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