you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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