So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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