omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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