pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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