i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
