I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
