It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
