He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
