He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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