I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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