Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
