We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
