I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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