Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
