But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
