I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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