hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Someone shit on the floor
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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