why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
