She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
