i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
