spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
