saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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