It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize