I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize