yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize