They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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