so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
