So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
