we have officially lost it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
