I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
