I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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