it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
