i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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