Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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