I showed him my bush... on skype.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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