ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
