ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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